Dream Book

"You have no balls!" :)

I dreamt of two gangs of people playing cricket in two neighbouring cricket pitches. Sometimes the cricket ball from one gang would go to the other gang and then they won't return the ball back or hide it and vice-versa. The two gangs would then fight over the ball. I was part of one such fight in which I proposed a solution.

"Lets have an app based on blockchain technology that would keep track of our balls :) We will have this app in all our phones and it will have a common ledger accounting for balls lost or gained. Then suppose you lose a ball then the app would make a change in the ledger in every phone and each one of us will have to verify or authenticate that such a transaction of ball(s) happened..."

Most of the things don't make any sense after waking up but in the dream everyone agreed to my idea of blockchain technology keeping track of cricket balls in a ledger in everyone's phone. Then I sit down to read Satoshi Nakamoto white paper on blockchain technology (which I have not read in real life) and manage to create the app. Soon we have the app and people start using it.

Then in one person's phone, who had lost all his cricket balls, the app makes a statement "You have no balls!" hahahaha :) That person got offended and started a fight with me and then I woke up :)

Lambert? :)

My father asks me to subscribe to 'lambert' magazine. I have never heard of this magazine. He then says it's an extension of 'bert' (transformer) model architecture inspired by lamb's brain. I am like "Really!". Then while eating lamb shank, he says "Look at this lamb. Its so well cooked and soft. Similarly soft connections between layers in BERT architecture is Lambert. So can you subscribe to Lambert magazine for me". Then I wake up to realise how nothing in the dream made any sense :)

Daal Vada Khayega? :)

Don't remember much except that my brother kept asking me "Daal Vada khayega?"
There seemed to be lot happening in the background but he kept asking in a funny way "Daal vada khayega?" :)

A huge Lion ate my leg :)

I was with a few more people standing at the entrance of a high-rise building watching a huge Elephant and a huge Lion fight on the terrace of the building. The Lion was hanging on the edge of the terrace and the Elephant pushed him down. The Lion fell down - "Thump!" - and laid down on the road unmoved. I thought he died so I went near him to check. I remember the Lion was huge. His face along with the mane was as big as my entire body. As I touched the Lion, he woke up. We ran into the building and he chased us. We ran up the stairs and he continued chasing us. Finally he caught me up the stairs and bit my feet below the ankle. I screamed in pain on the staircase. I couldn't move and I knew this is the end. So I didn't resist and saw him bite the rest of my legs slowly and then he left and I woke up feeling surprised I still have my legs!

Golf Racing :)

I was playing a sport in my dream which after waking up I am calling it Golf racing.

Basically there is a race track/circuit like Formula1 with chicanes and hairpin curves and all kinds of turns possible. The objective is to keep the golf ball on track and complete the circuit with minimum number of shots. There could be many laps too. I kept playing like this in my dream. When I woke I realised this would be a really interesting sport. No golf holes but a race track which you complete with minimum number of shots :)

I think I have invented a new sport :)

Maneuvering a cart by throwing fruits :)

I was at some party or a wedding and I think I was tired searching for a place to sleep. Then I find a fruit cart with some space to lie down between the fruits. Then I realise the fruit cart started moving and was speeding up.

Now I am on the road.

"Where is the steering wheel", I cry.

I start throwing fruits off the cart and maneuver it. For example, if I want to turn right then I throw a watermelon to the left with some force. Like this, I managed to move through the traffic. Behind me I see a trail of fruits on both sides. Then comes a traffic signal and cars covering all the space. There is empty space to maneuver.

"This is it. I am going to crash".

BANG! An accident and I wake up :)

Batcave :)

My father is driving a white ambassador car. My mother, brother, my father's sister and me are sitting in the rear seat. I have an uncle who we lovingly call 'Bacardi uncle'. He and his wife are in the front seat. We are showing them around.

"This is Arfa restaurant, the butter chicken here is delicious".

He says, "waah waah" and starts humming. Then he asks, "and biryani?"

I reply, "You will get that too but maybe not the fried onion on top".

There is more food related discussion while we keep driving in some kind of a sea-facing drive like marine drive in Bombay.

He asks, "Where are the movie theatres here?"

Then a black gigantic building appears. "Yes. This must be one."

I say, "No. This is where Batman lives - a Batcave."

The building appears to be like a mountain shape. My father asks "what happened to the old batcave?"

"they have turned it into a merchandise shop!"

Everyone in the car wanted to pee but the toilet is up in the Batcave. Bacardi uncle couldn't climb so my father takes the car magically into the toilet somehow (like in the batman movies and cartoons there is a special driveway to access the dungeons) where people are peeing. They get surprised by the car in the restroom. All of us get down. The three ladies (My mother, and the two aunts) give me their purses and bags to hold for them. I guide them to the WCs.

"That's Batman's house and that is his office. Don't go there. Use these WCs over here."

They go in and I am holding my pee because all urinals are occupied. I am also feeling irritation in my throat and want to spit out. At that moment I wake up with those two feelings.

Handmade Coffee :)

I dreamt of running a cafe where, for some reason, I am grinding roasted coffee beans with hand in a grinding stone and then I put the grinded coffee powder in hot boiling water and then pour out the liquid in some special 'handkerchief' as filter and squeeze out the liquid coffee... Don't remember much of the story around it except that someone says the handkerchief I am using is special because thats why the coffee tasted good and my cafe business was booming :)

Vada Croissant :)

I dreamt of my father opening a 'fusion' bakery (Indian-western mix stuff). He is recruiting people. My mother and I stand in the queue to get recruited. There is local tea and snacks shop in my Bombay home's neighbourhood called Vrindavan which sells Vada Pav, Samosa, etc. The owner of this shop, wearing a very thick spectacles, is also waiting in the queue. I ask him, "You already have Vrindavan. Why are you standing in this queue to get recruited?" He says, "Everything is getting modern. No customer wants traditional Usal Misal (a Maharashtrian snack). They want fusion snacks."

My mother and I are called in for the interview. My father asks us to present a new 'fusion snack'. I say, Vada Croissant (replacing the Pav - an indian bread with a butter croissant). My mother prepares it and serves it to my father. He relishes it. One of the judges is Gordon Ramsay who doesn't like it. My father tells him, "you have no idea about Indian taste buds". We are hired!

But soon I get to know Vrindavan has already started selling Vada Croissants. We go to the police station file a complaint. I tell the inspector, "...this is misuse of Intellectual Property." The Police inspector says that he will write an FIR but it will take some time. Meanwhile he offers us some snacks and drinks. He gets three thumbs ups (an Indian cold drink) and Butter Vada Croissant. We eat it and really like it. We ask him, "Where did you get this?". He says, "Vrindavan. It's really good. Did you like it? Do you want to have some more?"

And then I wake up :)

The police arrests me :)

The police arrest me for violating lockdown. "You went out twice a day for your daily exercise."

I say, "Nonsense! I go out only once a day."

Then the police take me to the court and two witnesses give testimony.

First witness: "I saw this man go out running at 11pm and return at 1am."

Second witness: "I saw this man go cycling at noon the next day."

The lawyer: "His run from midnight to 1am accounts for one exercise of the day and the cycling accounts for the second exercise of the day. So I want this person hanged to death."

My BFF, who is my lawyer, gives a long emotional speech: ".... So yes, hang my client to death for thinking the day starts with the sunrise. But after you kill him, I want you to add his death to the Corona virus list."

People clap hands and then they ask me for last words.

I say, "Guys, I think UK does not have death sentences."

And then I wake up :)

But seriously, I was really worried in the dream and finding ways to save myself.

The ball fell of the balcony :)

I was juggling in my house on the first floor and the balls fell off my hand off the balcony to the ground floor. So I go to the balcony and ask people passing by to throw the balls back to me. Turns out Ravi Shastri is passing by so I ask him to toss the balls to me. He throws in all different directions. It was so amusing to find him missing his aim again and again and again. Then I decide to go down to the ground floor. I pick up a stone and show him how to aim and throw it into my balcony on the first floor and then I climb back up to my balcony and ask him to throw the balls to me.

He waits and then says, "I thought I am drunk but it seems you are out of your mind."

I felt embarrassed of my stupidity and woke up with that feeling :)

My father offering me a job :)

My father comes to me and asks me "Will you work for my company? We need your expertise."

Then he takes me on a tour of his office and shows "This is a laminar flow unit... This is this... This is that... This is a clean room for chickens" and then he starts chasing chickens. He runs around behind chickens but couldn't catch a single chicken.

Then he tells me, "We need to put the chickens into the clean room... That's where we need your expertise."

So I look at the problem and devise a solution. "Papa, the chickens repel just like in football the opponents repel if you approach them. So we need to team up to corner the chickens into the clean room... Like dogs herding sheep... Open the door like a funnel and we will put them in."

Then like dogs herding sheep, we put the chickens into the clean room and then I wake up satisfied :)

Exam papers used as toilet paper :)

I am correcting/marking exam papers of students. The papers are dirty, smelly and covered in shit! I tell my supervisor, "This is shit! Students are using exam papers as toilet papers."

"They must have run out of toilet papers so they are using every paper they could find."

"Yes, but I cannot evaluate shit. Lets teach them to use water instead of paper."

So she conducts lectures on how to wash your bum using water and I create tutorials for the same. We then conduct a 'bum washing exam' and we mark them for that. Then I go to the bathroom and excrete and it turns out we have run out of water because a it was used in the bum washing exam. Then I search for toilet paper but can't find any. I have a paper on which I have recorded everyone's marks and use it to wipe my bum.

"Shit!", and then I wake up :)

"Arre, yeh mandir nahi hai!" :)

They ask me to set up the stage for a lecture and seats for a large crowd of people. So I build a stage and arrange many seats. There is a single aise. Then I see many of my past and present professors and supervisors from IISER Bhopal, University of Edinburgh, University of Sheffield, Imperial College London, Google, on the stage. I am sitting down in the crowds.

"P Vs NP", the speaker speaks these words. And suddenly all the people get up and start rushing towards the stage to put money in cash boxes and bow their heads like in temples or gurdwara. There is a stampede in the aisle and I am trapped in the rushing crowds. "Arre Mandir Nahi hai yeh", I scream and get choked in the stampede gasping for breath and I wake up.

Marriage Ceremony on a railway station platform :)

I am attending a friend's marriage on a railway station. There is an announcement, "ABC ki Shaadi platform number 2 par ho rahi hai. Borivali ke liye dheemi local platform number 1 par aa rahi hai." (ABC is getting married on platform number 2. A slow train for Borivali is arriving on platform number 1).

As the train arrives, I jump through the train from platform 1 to platform 2 and see the wedding setup. All guests are dressed up and there is a stage. Then I find another person I know who is a Chartered Accountant.

He asks me "Chiraag khana khaya?" (Did you have food?)

I am like "Nahi. But Khana dikh Nahi Raha." (No. I can't find any food.)

"Haan khaana Bandra pe hai. Chalo main le chalta Hun." (Yes. Food is being served at a different station Bandra. I will take you there.)

Then we board a fast train towards Churchgate and get off at Bandra station and there I find food and many other guests. The CA asks me, "beta yeh Universal Basic Income (UBI) samjhao". (Explain to me what is UBI)

So I have a discussion with him on probabilistic smoothing as a faster cheaper efficient way of redistributing probabilities and show this is no different than wealth redistribution. Told him accounting is one of the first professions to be fully automated just like radiology. He says he knows and that's why he wants to diversify his business. We hop onto a train to Borivali for dessert which is a different station. Eat dessert and then hop on to another train back to the wedding and then I wake up with the announcement of more trains arriving on the different platforms :)

Shifting Capital :)

I ask some stranger for a lift in his helicopter to Delhi. He allows me to hitchhike and lets me in and after we take-off he asks me, "why are you headed to Delhi?" I reply, "my brother is participating in a bodybuilding competition so I need to go there." Then the pilot announces that we are headed to Gwalior.

I ask them, "why Gwalior?"

They reply, "Gwalior is the new capital"

"What! When did this happen?"

"Whenever some prominent personality dies then to commemorate we change the capital to his/her birthplace"

"Who died?"

"The architect of Gwalior airport"

"Never heard of him. Must be a big-shot".

Then I try to call my brother but he is not reachable. Then I message my mom that I will come to Delhi via Gwalior. She replies on some flashy blue coloured messenger on my phone "Get rock-salt for your brother from that ***** store in Gwalior". I want to avoid buying more stuff so I request the pilot to drop me in Delhi which is on the way. Instead he gives me a parachute and asks me to jump when we are over Delhi. I compute the parabolic trajectory to land directly into my brother's house. Then I jump and land in the balcony. My niece (Z***) comes crawling into the balcony and starts playing with the parachute and it's harness trying to eat it's buckle. Besides her there is no one else at home. I call my brother and he says "we are shifting to Gwalior."

"What? But you forgot Z***."

"No. We will get her in the second lot of shifting."

"But why Gwalior?"

"National Capital is shifting to Gwalior and so is the National Capital Region. All our jobs are shifting to Gwalior too."

Then I wake up wondering how do I travel to Gwalior with Z***.

A high-speed rescue mission downhill. Being screamed at :)

I am playing football on a sloping hill so the ball keeps rolling down. I change my dribbling style to keep the ball in play and not go outside the field of play. And I am quite good at it. But then, I pass the ball to a team-mate (a friend) who is not so good at dribbling or controlling the ball. He looses the ball and the ball goes rolling downhill. It knocks off a stroller and now both the ball and the stroller are accelerating downhill. All of us panic and run to save the child in the stroller. The woman who was next to the stroller, who happens to be one of my dearest friends (BFF), screams at me. I run as fast as I can. Then find a mountain bike and I ride it down. It was one of the most adventurous high-speed chases I have had. The screaming is still audible. Finally, we manage to stop the stroller but there is no child in it! I am scared. "Where did the child go?" and I look around. The BFF comes downhill and takes the stroller and says thanks. I am confused. I tell her, "Sorry, I lost the child". She says, "what child?"

"So there was no child in the stroller?"

"No"

"Then why were you screaming at me?"

"I didn't want to lose the stroller"

I go silent and freeze trying to digest what just happened and then she hugged me and I woke up with a strange frozen feeling :)

Repairing an aircraft engine :)

My sister-in-law (who works for British Airways) calls me and asks "Chini, we need your help. Our plane's engine is not working. We need to repair it". So I go to the British Airways hangar here in London with small Lego motors and lego parts. :)

We remove the big Rolls Royce engine on the wing and start assembling many many small fans made up of Lego. My sister-in-law asks me "Will this work?"

I say "Lets cover the whole wing with these fans. Actually, lets cover the fuselage too".

The pilot asks me, "if possible, may I have a small fan for the cockpit too. I can't open the window up in the sky so a small fan inside will help circulate the air." So I install one fan in the cockpit too.

The entire plane is now covered with small fans assembled from lego motors and pieces. Then to test it, they turn it on and the plane moves in reverse. I say, "Arre yaar, all the fans have been installed in the wrong direction. Ulta Kar diya. Now, we will have to change the direction of every fan."

And then I wake up :)

Homophobia and fear of death :)

My friend and I are in a Transport for London bus in the upper deck.

My friend says, "Lala, I am tired with my life. I want to do something exciting like act in movies or race a car". Coincidentally, right across the aisle we see Ayushman Khurana (Bolywood actor) and Sebastian Vettel (Formula one racer). I tell my friend to approach them and talk to them. He stands up, looks at them, then looks at me and says "No, not acting. I can't kiss a guy". I tell him, "But if you want to act then you will be given all kinds of roles, and its just acting. Don't be a homophobic. Its just a role in Ayushman's current movie. You don't know what acting roles are available in the next movie."

He insists, "No. I can't act with him. I want to race."

Then we decide that I will act and he will race. So I approach Vettel and Ayushman and ask them to exchange seats with us. Ayushman sits with me and Vettel sits with my friend.

Ayushman tells me, in the next movie he will be playing the role of a race car navigator and there is a role available for the racer. I turn to my friend and tell him "yeh dekh Benchod! You were scared and now I am going to be the racer. Don't judge so soon". My friend then wants to re-exchange the seats. Now he sits with Ayushman and I sit with Vettel. Then Ayushman tells him the rest of the plot of his next movie, "... and the navigator and the driver fall in love while racing."

My friend then looks at me and says "Arrreeee yaaaar!" :)

He being homophobic (in the dream) begs me to re-exchange the seat. Now he sits with Vettel and asks him, "How do I become a racer?"

Vettel says, "Do not have fear of death". My friend gets scared and asks "how?".

The bus speeds up and then Vettel says "If you survive this imminent accident then your fear will go away and then I will get you into F1"

BOOM! An accident and I wake up

"Chini, distribute sweets to other employees!" :)

I am a peon in a local bank in India. The bank has got cubicles for the employees and a tall ceiling with long hanging ceiling fans. I am wearing a short half-pant and a cap with a small towel (gamcha) on my shoulder with which I clean the table of the employees.

I am in the branch manager's office cleaning her table and the manager is on the phone. She becomes excited and happy and then cuts the call.

I ask, "Madam, you sound happy. What's the good news?"

She replies, "I am being promoted to a new branch in Mumbai. Chini, distribute sweets to other employees! Here, take some money to buy the sweets."

She gives me some cash and I leave her cubicle. The deputy manager (the second in command) calls me to his cubicle and asks, "Chini, why is madam so happy?"

I tell him, "She is getting promoted."

The deputy manager says, "Oh that's great news! If she gets promoted then they will promote me to become the manager of this branch. Chini, here take some money and buy sweets for other employees."

He gives me some cash and I leave his cubicle. The next employee in the corporate ladder (the third in command) calls me to her office and asks the same question. I reply her seniors are getting promoted. She gets happy because she thinks she will become the deputy manager and gives me money to distribute sweets. I leave her office and the next in command calls me to his cubicle. This repeats. Finally, I have a bag full of cash.

I go to the sweets store and buy just one empty box of sweets. I take that box and show it to the manager who signals me to distribute the sweets to others. Then I show the same box to the second in command who thinks its his box of sweets and signals me to distribute it to others. Then I show the same box to the third in command who thinks its her box of sweets and signals me to distribute it to others, and so on.

Finally, nobody eats any sweets and I take my bag-full of cash to the cashier (who happens to be the last in command) and ask her to deposit the money into my account.

And then I wake up with the feeling of having made a lot of money only to realise it was a dream :)

Stuck on a cliff!

Thats it... no moving up or down... just stuck!

Barter system :)

This has got to be one of the most elaborate and funniest dreams I have had.

I am in a restaurant with 100s of my friends from school to college to universities, etc. Friends from all phases of my life eating together in a restaurant and for some reason I decide to pay the bill. Now everyone else pays me back in a Barter system format :)

One pays me a live chicken and says, "I ate one chicken so here one is back"

One pays me in branded purses and I have to return change so I give her back the handle and the zip of the purses.

One cleans the table and plates and asks the restaurant owner to cut that amount from the bill.

One pays me in calcium tablets.

One pays me tickets to a theme park.

One pays me coca cola bottles and drinks a bit of coca cola as change.

One says, "I have eaten only 30% of the meal so here is the remaining 70% and I will pay only 30% of my share". We then discuss- the rest of the food will decay and depreciate so we compute the rate of decay and compute the value (yes, there was a bit of mathematics too) of the extra he has to pay me.

Hahahahahaha!

There were several instances I can't remember fully and all weird.

After I woke up I couldn't stop laughing!

Shrinking coastline

Dreamt of a map of Indian peninsula and the coastal region shrinking including Bombay :(

A white bedsheet roof with waves in it :)

Faintly remember the dream where I am on some kind of a road-trip and then I enter a restaurant with a white ceiling. I notice it is a bedsheet held high by four very tall people and they are waving to create wave-like patterns in the ceiling :)

Rubik's cube like building :)

There is a Rubik's cube shaped building and I am a security guard outside rotating the different faces of the building using levers. A friend of mine asks me to bring his mom close to him. Both stay in different cubicles of the building so I rotate the faces and bring them closer :)

Roomali rotis sold in black at a wedding :)

In today's dream, there was an Indian wedding setup with a very very long queue of guests carrying a plate of food. I was standing in the queue too and, I think, I was the groom. I ask the lady in front of me "what queue is this for?". She says, "Roomali Roti" (a flat Indian bread). I am like "Yes, roomali roti toh banta hai par kuch zaada hi lambi line hai" ("I want roomali roti. It must be really good but the queue is very long"). At that very moment someone who has roomali roti comes walking down the queue selling roomali rotis in black. "Dus ka ek. Dus ka ek" ("Ten rupees for one roomali roti").

I ask the guy (in Hindi) - why are you selling the rotis in black. Everything is free here at the wedding.

He says (in Hindi) - who is stopping you to get it for free. Continue to stand in the queue.

Then I am like, "Acha yeh le bees aur do de. Kaam pe baithna hai." ("Okay. Here, take twenty and give me two. I have to sit for my work."). He gives me two roomali rotis and I wake up thinking where was I suppose to sit.

Oh! It was a dream :)

Flintstone like lawn mower :)

Dreamt of a trolley on which I am sitting. The kind of trolley found at airports but with a very low ground clearance. Then, I think, some old school-friend pushes the trolley ahead and I am cutting the grass with small pairs of scissors - something used by barbers to trim a moustache. I ask my friend to slow down because I am missing some grasses.

Its a lawn mover from the Flintstone era :)

Self-driven car on the return journey :)

I dreamt of a car with an elastic rubber wire hooked to its trunk. The other end of the wire was in some machine in the garage at home. I travel with several people in the car to some destination which I can't remember. Then I asked the person driving the car to take us back home and he asked us to wear seat-belts because the car will take us home very quickly. He presses a button and the elastic rubber wire pulls us back to the garage at home. This happens very fast and I am back home almost instantly. I say something like, "Waah, yeh toh mast hai. Aadhi journey toh self-driven thi" ("Wow, This is great. At least half of the journey is self-driven!")

Only after I wake up I realise how stupid it is :)

Two points moving along helix :)

Don't remember the dream except two bright points moving in a helix. Something like two points going along a circle and also moving forwards. Couldn't make much sense. The design was cool.

Crash landing on ice :)

There is an aeroplane flying and all the passengers, including me, are flying outside the plane hanging to it by the sides with a rope. Think of the plane with many wings of people :)

The plane is landing on an icy runway. I descend with the plane and hover at a fast speed over the ice. Now the plane applies breaks and slows down and I have to apply breaks too. I put my palm to the icy runway and slow down smoothly. But then suddenly I hit a small pothole and crash rolling on the ice. The pain and the bruises felt real. Then I wake up to realise its a dream.

The strange vision of all passengers hanging on to the plane with ropes felt real in the dream and ridiculously funny after I woke up :)